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wanna leave me a note? holla if you hear me! pop some popcorn, it's movie time the royal tenenbaums ghost world lost in translation e.t. donnie darko cds glued in my cd player the shins::chutes too narrow grandaddy::sumday outkast::speakerboxxx/ the love below blondie::parallel lines iggy & the stooges::raw power let's cozy up with a good book 32 stories secret history pride & prejudice sputnik sweetheart same difference & other stories bored with my shit? check out these sites aloha counting crows dc4c delia's m. doughty hello kitty kempa kith kubbes matador modest mouse polyvinyl radiohead rainer maria red hot chili peppers sigur ros sloan small stories stinkweeds =w= webmonkey read all about it! witch-baby stomper4x4 jrjunebug fanmail j-ku crzyjessie |
My Grandma's Dying and I'm a Bitch 2000-08-13::23:47:49 Ugh, I told myselI wasn't going to do this tonight. I told myself I was going to sign off and take the movies back and eat and go to bed, and well, I will do those things, but only after I finish this. This weekend has been kinda crazy. I feel bad because I like to keep this diary pretty light-hearted, but this entry is serious. This weekend my mom told me that my great-grandma is dying. My great-grandma lives in Houghton Lake and was in the hopsital this week- congestive heart failure. This weekend my grandma brought her home to die. So, my mom tells me this really disappointing news, and well the granddaughterly thing to do is to go up to Houghton Lake and visit my great-grandma. So, Saturday after work I made the drive up there. And well, I just really didn't know what to expect. She was doing a lot better than I thought she would be. They had her up and sitting in a chair when I got there. I tried to talk to her, but I couldn't understand her very well and she didn't know who I was. The whole scene was very uncomfortable, especially since I haven't been up to Houghton Lake to visit my grandparents for probably about 5 years. There is just no excuse for that, you know? I should have called more and taken off time to go and visit them. There are a lot of reasons I didn't, but I don't want to get into them. The point is I felt like shit the whole entire time I was there. I felt really helpless, I didn't know what to do to help them, and I was so tired so I slept too much and didn't visit with them enough. It was all very scarry. My great-grandma, and I am not saying this to be funny, looked like Gary Oldman in Dracula- with the crazy white hair, wrinkled skin, long fingernails. It was just really horrible. They had me help them put her into these Depends so she wouldn't wet the bed overnight, and well it was just a really uncomfortable, horrible experience. I don't know how my grandma and aunt can do it. It was just creepy. I slept in my great-grandpa's old bedroom. He has been dead for 6 years now and well it was strange to sleep in his old bed. Anyway, I am home now though. I am glad to be home, but I feel like such a bitch for not keeping close with my grandparents. |
