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wanna leave me a note? holla if you hear me! pop some popcorn, it's movie time the royal tenenbaums ghost world lost in translation e.t. donnie darko cds glued in my cd player the shins::chutes too narrow grandaddy::sumday outkast::speakerboxxx/ the love below blondie::parallel lines iggy & the stooges::raw power let's cozy up with a good book 32 stories secret history pride & prejudice sputnik sweetheart same difference & other stories bored with my shit? check out these sites aloha counting crows dc4c delia's m. doughty hello kitty kempa kith kubbes matador modest mouse polyvinyl radiohead rainer maria red hot chili peppers sigur ros sloan small stories stinkweeds =w= webmonkey read all about it! witch-baby stomper4x4 jrjunebug fanmail j-ku crzyjessie |
me=rambling, incoherent idiot 2001-01-22::00:48:45 Here is a passage that I especially like from the book I am reading right now, Slaughterhouse 5, by Kurt Vonnegut. "Welcome aboard, Mr. Pilgrim," said the loudspeaker. "Any questions?" Billy licked his lips, thought a while, inquired at last: "Why me?" That is a very Earthling question to ask, Mr. Pilgrim. Why you? Why us for that matter? Why anything? Because this moment simply is. Have you ever seen bugs trapped in amber?" "Yes." Billy, in fact, had a paperweight in his office which was a blob of polished amber with three ladybugs embedded in it. "Well, here we are, Mr. Pilgrim, trapped in the amber of this moment. There is no why." It's those last two lines. Vonnegut amazes me. Totally unrelated story: This weekend I went to Alpena to visit Jenny. She was the assistant director and ran the lights for this very funny play, I Hate Hamlet, which ran this weekend. It really was great. The actors were so good, and Jenny and her friend and fellow "techie," Ross, were flawless on the lights and sound, (or at least that's what she told me, I wouldn't have noticed even if they we off). Anyway, the point is everyone did a great job, and the show was wunderbar! Unfortunately though, I didn't tell anyone that besides Jenny, and eventually Kirstine. See, Jenny and I went to the cast party afterward, which was the perfect time for me to tell everyone how much I enjoyed the show, but for some reason I felt really stupid- like if I went from person to person telling everybody how marvelous they were, that it would eventually lose its sincerity, and they would think I was just saying it to be polite. So instead I didn't really say anything, except for when Kirstine asked me if I enjoyed it, and when I answered her it sounded completely half-assed and insincere, which probably made me come off as a bitch. Why am I analyzing this so much? Simple, because I think Jenny's new friends are really cool, and I wanted them to like me, so now I am analyzing things that I said which might have made me look dumb. They are just really great people, and I envy Jenny for having found them, because I haven't made any real friends down at Wayne State. Also, the whole thing makes me miss being in drama in high school- we had so much fun. See, it is cool because where Jenny goes to school you can be involved in theatre even if you aren't majoring in it. At WSU though, they kind of discourage that sort of thing. Our theatre department isn't so friendly, they are just intimidating and snobby. Jenny totally made me sad too, because before I left today she told me to just move up to Alpena and take a few classes and be in, Picnic, (the next play), with her. It sounds so fun, but it is totally unrealistic- for one, I can't act to save my life, and two, if I were to take a semester off at WSU I would lose my scholarship there. Those are just two out of about two hundred reasons I could give for why I couldn't do it, but still, it sounds so fun. Anyway, the point is I am not going to do it, and I am sad because she is having so much fun with her sweet new friends, and here I am wasting my life away at a horrible job so I can scrape up some money to move out of my parent's house while trying to get my B.A.s before I turn 95. Wah-wah. Everyone pity me! |
