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d-ring mothaload

Li'l Minx, Mom's Cooking, and Cabin Fever

2001-08-16::11:22 p.m.

Jenny gave me a nickname in the past, Li'l Minx, which I earned because supposedly I turn into some kind of online vixen when random boys IM me. I don't know if I would consider myself an "online vixen," but I do know I act much different than if you were just to bump into me on the street and start a conversation. I guess it is because I know that there is a 97.9% chance that I will never run into these people anywhere outside of cyberspace. Perhaps this is the same reason why Adam Kempa can ignore me so easily? But I digress. What I am going to include now are a few excerpts from a conversation I had earlier tonight as evidence of my dual personality. (Oh, and the names have been changed to protect the innocent, or some shit like that.)

mysteryboy: well i have to go now...it was nice
talkin to ya tho...you want me to let you know
when we have a show around here?
me: that would be great
mysteryboy: ok then i will :)
mysteryboy: you know i still havent been around
here very much so far tho
me: yeah, well, it takes time to settle
in to a new place
mysteryboy: yeah...well i was just gonna say
that i could sure use a cute girl to show me
around town and stuff sometime :)~
me: maybe sometime cassanova
mysteryboy: LOL!!! dont call me that :)~
mysteryboy: hey you cant blame me for tryin ;)
i wish i had a pic to send you tho so you could
decide if you were interested in the
request...but i guess you'll never know
mysteryboy: unless we meet sometime somehow

*Oh, damn, now I'll never know what I could have had! I thought this boy was signing off, guess I was wrong, as he continued on for another 15 minutes.*

me: I was just joking with you
mysteryboy: just making sure
mysteryboy: good i didnt wanna have to come
beat you up
me: ha, you just try that
mysteryboy: is that an invitation? lol
me: oh boy, you really do need to get
out more, don't you?
mysteryboy: well you have to realize i dont
know ANYONE here
me: yeah, I understand. what about
your band mates?
mysteryboy: well yeah..but they all have g/f's
and stuff
me: yeah, well, I understand, it sucks
to be the odd man out
mysteryboy: yes it does :)
mysteryboy: anyways you probably dont have that
problem tho huh
me: no, girls have the same problem,
most of my friends have bf's, and it sucks being
the lonely one, but that's ok, because I am
holding out for my prince charming

*I do it to myself, I do*

mysteryboy: well isnt that convenient :)
mysteryboy: what do you look for in a guy?
me: oh no, we aren't getting into all
this crap
mysteryboy: um ok..i was just asking
me: I just hate the "what do you look
for in a guy" questions
mysteryboy: i hate that question too..but most
girls are all into talkin about their "dream"
guy

*Throughout this conversation, this boy tried his best to keep me happy by agreeing with everything I said, even at times when I was blatantly poking fun at him.*

mysteryboy: im glad you didnt wanna
answer..that says good things about you
mysterboy: i hate "typical" girls
me: well, I am anything but typical,
but then again, no one thinks they are typical
mysteryboy: yea but i can tell you arent like
other girls

*Dripping with sarcasm*

me: ha, you are quite the little
charmer, aren't you?

*Now it's time to say good-bye to all our company :(*

mysteryboy: hey i have to get goin ok??
sorry..i wish i could talk to you longer..i
wanna know more stuff about you
mysteryboy: id give you my number but i dont
think you'd call ;)
me: you are probably right about that
mysteryboy: lol i could tell..good..im glad you
wouldnt
mysteryboy: you're proving yourself more and
more :)

*Oh, I didn't know the name of this game was me proving myself to you, or I would have tried harder. But wait, he's the one who wants to get into my pants, shouldn't he be trying to prove himself to me?*

me: ok, well, I don't want to keep you
mysteryboy: talk to you later
me: ok, later then
me: bye
mysteryboy: bye miss me :)
me: will do

Puke, is this all that the world has to offer me? When I was talking on the phone to JAls today, I inadvertently made up a little motto about the status of my virginity and my impatience to lose it. It went something like this, "Almost 22, any boy will do." However, I did not mean it, and now I think God is punishing me. Ha, because of course, God would punish me about some stupid motto I made up about looking forward to engaging in premarital sex rather than punishing me for being an atheist? This motto is just the straw that broke the camel's back, and now I am doomed to never have my true love, a.k.a Adam Kempa. Ugh, I just had a disturbing thought, what if Adam ever sees this? All these husband, soul-mate, true love comments might be kinda creepy, huh? Sorry Adam, I'm not really a psycho cyber-stalker, I just come off that way, besides, you know you love it.

Okay, on to more important matters. I feel like I am going to puke. Why? Because my mom, God love her, tried to make this new dip and well, it is making me sick. She really tried, but I think what killed it was the Baco-bits. I know, I know, Baco-bits? We are trashy, I can't help it. Anyway, so yeah, usually I am up for anything with bacon in it, but someone should have reminded me that Baco-bits do not equal real bacon. They are only intensely flavored chunks of God-knows-what, (lots of God talk tonight, da Lord's in da house!). So intensely flavored, that I, a bacon lover, hate Baco-bits. From now on it's the real thing or nothing. Sorry Ram's Horn, I won't be keeping you in business anymore by coming in to get my weekly dose of plate-o-heart-attack, not until you bring out the bacon!

Ugh, okay, so I came to the sad conclusion today that I am completely lacking friends. Besse=Georgia, Maria=Germany, JAlsup=Alpena, both Katie's=Ann Arbor, Wayne= Heaven, Jen=Germany, Kelly and Matt=Busy, Justin=Work. Anyway, so I was getting cabin fever, and bad. I almost stabbed my mom in the neck with my fork during dinner, but that is another story for another day. The point is, I was bored, depressed, and needed to get the hell out of my house, which honestly is the depression capital of the world, and could be responsible for causing Richard Simmons to commit suicide if he ever visited here, (which he should, because I am chubby, but I guess it wouldn't be safe for him to come here, so we'd have to pick a more Richard-friendly zone, like the Madison Athletic Club or something). Again, I digress. So, being the bored girl that I was, I decided to do two things, A) Go to the local B&N and buy not one, but two new books with my plastic best friend (yes, Wayne State is still not paying me, but don't get me started), and B) Return to the Lamphere Hill with my books and personal CD player to listen to Death Cab for Cutie (who honestly are the worst choice I could have made musically, since they are so cute and sad that I want to slit my wrists everytime I listen to them), and dig into my new reads as a means to break out of my depression funk. Sounds like a great plan, doesn't it? It would have been if A) The ground wasn't still wet from the rain, B) The road leading to the parking lot for the park wasn't all ripped up, there-by not forcing me to park in my old high school's parking lot and walk over, C) It wasn't the windiest day in Michigan ever, D) I had noticed the ominous looking clouds hovering over the park before getting out of my car, and E) I hadn't seen a bum washing his hair, and brushing his teeth, in the drinking fountain at the foot of the hill, because really, how am I supposed to cure myself of my depression when I see shit like that? Anyway, so I still sat on the hill, and made it about ten pages into one of my new books before it started raining again, forcing me to pack up and make my way back to the heart of darkness, a.k.a. my parent's house. All in all, a good plan, but bad timing. The book, Girlfriend in a Coma, is excellent though, and I think I will get back to reading it now.