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wanna leave me a note? holla if you hear me! pop some popcorn, it's movie time the royal tenenbaums ghost world lost in translation e.t. donnie darko cds glued in my cd player the shins::chutes too narrow grandaddy::sumday outkast::speakerboxxx/ the love below blondie::parallel lines iggy & the stooges::raw power let's cozy up with a good book 32 stories secret history pride & prejudice sputnik sweetheart same difference & other stories bored with my shit? check out these sites aloha counting crows dc4c delia's m. doughty hello kitty kempa kith kubbes matador modest mouse polyvinyl radiohead rainer maria red hot chili peppers sigur ros sloan small stories stinkweeds =w= webmonkey read all about it! witch-baby stomper4x4 jrjunebug fanmail j-ku crzyjessie |
Pukey McGee, That's Me! 2004-04-01::4:16 p.m. Blarg! Today is the worst day in the history of bad days! Why you ask? Guess who's got the fucking stomach flu?!?! Me, of course. Guess who has an AutoCAD midterm tonight, and is therefore sitting in the stinky basement of the Architecture building, attempting to study, when all she wants to do is ralph? Hey, that would be me again! Hate my life. This week has been shit central in general. It all started Monday night. Taking a break from my hellish homework, (I had to write a proposal and deliver it in class the next day. If you know me, then you know that public speaking is a fate worse than death), I proceeded to the local Little Casaer's to partake in the wonder that is the Hot & Ready. Maybe I was over anxious about the pizza eating extravaganza that was to commence when I returned to my apartment, maybe, unbeknownst to me, I was salivating uncontrollably. Whatever the case, the pizza man decided to take out his frustration at being a 30 year old pizza man by making fun of my pathetic fat ass. Our interaction went as follows: Him: Hello, how can I help you? Me: I'd like a pepperoni Hot & Ready, and an order of Crazy Breadwith sauce. (so far, completely normal) Him: How many Hot & Readys do you want? 1? 2? 10? (Jigga fucking what? Where the fuck did this assault come from?) Me: (chuckling) Oh, just the 1 will be fine! (At this point I pay, willing to overlook the insult, maybe I am just overanalyzing things, since I think everyone thinks I am a hippo.) Him: Here you go! (handing me the pizza) We're open until 10 if you get hungry later! (Oh, no he didn't! Oh yes, he did!) Me: Thanks. (Walking out of the store feeling fat and ashamed) Him: (calling after me) See you later! (No motherfucker, I don't think you will see me later, as after I stuff my fat ass with pizza, I am going to run a warm bath and sharpen my straight razor, thank you.) So, yeah, that was my cheery encounter at the Little Casaer's. Little did I know then, but I should have heeded the pizza man's advice, and put my ass on a diet, as not even two hours later, my fat ass stepped on my glasses (which were in the floor, removed before the eat-a-thon), and snapped them in two. So, I spent yesterday morning at D.O.C. picking out a new pair. I like them, but as my friend Steve says, they make me look like a "grandma librarian," (though he admits he couldn't picture me in any other frames). Tuesday wasn't completely awful. My presentation went rather smoothly. All in all, even with the presentation, it was my best day this week. Yesterday was a fiasco, first, I spent hours picking out my Sexy Specs. Then it was off to class. Class was fine for the most part. I had a fellow classmate try to convince me to pledge her sorority in the fall- barf. Then I had my English class, where I had to listen to my professor go on and on with one boring anecdote after another- they should just call the class Storytime with April. I kept writing awful things in my notebook about how I hated her, only to get stuck walking out of the building with her later during which time she tried to have a heart-to-heart with me. Of course then I felt guilty for loathing her. This brings us full circle to last night, where the week culminated in the most horrific of events- the onset of the flu and the projectile vomitting of this morning. When will this week be over? |
