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wanna leave me a note? holla if you hear me! pop some popcorn, it's movie time the royal tenenbaums ghost world lost in translation e.t. donnie darko cds glued in my cd player the shins::chutes too narrow grandaddy::sumday outkast::speakerboxxx/ the love below blondie::parallel lines iggy & the stooges::raw power let's cozy up with a good book 32 stories secret history pride & prejudice sputnik sweetheart same difference & other stories bored with my shit? check out these sites aloha counting crows dc4c delia's m. doughty hello kitty kempa kith kubbes matador modest mouse polyvinyl radiohead rainer maria red hot chili peppers sigur ros sloan small stories stinkweeds =w= webmonkey read all about it! witch-baby stomper4x4 jrjunebug fanmail j-ku crzyjessie |
Drug Free, So Put the Smack Up! 2004-03-08::12:11 a.m. Count them my friends, three days of sobriety!!! But Tina, we had no idea you were an alchy! Well, I'm not an alcoholic. Sure, I partake in the occassional beer, but definitely no alcoholism here. No, my friends, my drug of choice hasn't been the Wild Turkey, it's been "the caffeine." My love affair with cola began in early childhood. Pepsi was my family's milk. A staple of our food groups, never to be left off a shopping list. I knew things were getting dangerous around age 13 when, on a visit to my grandmother, I threw-up from what my family deduced to be a lack of caffeine. I was quickly administered my beloved Pepsi, and had an immediate recovery. Rather than cutting back on the cola in an attempt to break my apparent addiction, I began trying harder "drugs." Pepsi was the gateway to many harder-hitting caffeinated sodas, namely Jolt and Mountain Dew. Soon Mountain Dew, once an occassional treat, had taken over the Colas of my past. However, I am not discriminatory in my love of pop, and usually consume both Coke and Mountain Dew daily. Coke at home, Mountain Dew at school as a little "pick me up," which, due to my high level of caffeine consumption over the years, has failed to have any affect on me since early adolescence. My dependence is such that I need this high level of consumption just to remain functional. Without it, headaches and nausea ensue. As I live alone now, my caffeine consumption has been my own business, and lately I haven't liked what I've seen. There is no reason why a twenty-four year old woman should avoid drinking water as if it would give her the plague, and instead tear through a 12-pack of Coke in three days, (this in additon to the 20 Oz. Mountain Dew or two consumed throughout the typical school day). So, this background information leads us to the present. This Friday I swore off not just pop, but the "Big C" all together. No coffee, no tea, no frappucinos, no Water Joe. Nothing. Except what I can't avoid, (like that contained in chocolate- I can cut out the pop, the chocolate I am not ready to live without- and really, who wants to live in a world without chocolate? Besides, I don't drink 64+ ounces of chocolate daily, so I don't think it will kill me.). So, back to Friday- I am out of Coke, and even though it is 65 degrees outside in Detroit that day, it is my first day of spring break, and I am determined to not leave my bed for the whole day. I am fine really, until late afternoon, when I start itching for the caffeine- I go so far as to even drink the remains of some watered down Mountain Dew leftover from the night before, but to no avail. My head is pounding, and I feel like dying. This is when it hits me, I have a problem. So, I decide then and there to give it up, cold turkey. I make it through the night, going to bed incredibly early in attempt to sleep off the headache. I awake the next morning, and I am fine, all day, until around 4pm when the headache returns. I struggle through it somehow and make it to today, where I actually begin to see an improvement. Whereas I have a headache again this afternoon, it leaves by this evening, and as of right now, I am feeling fine. However, I would sell my ass on the corner of Cass Ave. for an ice cold Coca-Cola. It's pretty much all I can think about. But, I just keep restraining myself, telling myself I will feel better in the long run. Here's hoping! |
