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In the End, it is All About Wayne, (as it should be)...

2004-01-24::6:56 p.m.

Adieu, adieu, parting is such sweet sorrow!

Have you all heard the news? Adios Benifer! I will miss you much!

Actually, I really do like Ben Affleck, and J.Lo, just not together, so I am pretty happy they have decided to split. They really weren't good for each other, it's a shame all of America knew it before they did.

So, how is everyone? Can you believe, another entry so soon? Am I sick? My stomach does hurt, but that is besides the point. Basically, I am bored, and I feel chatty, and well, there is no one to chat to, except you, my lovely little diary. You're always there for me, aren't you? Just like Eddie Kaspbrak's mom. And for those of you who don't get that reference, fucking pick up a copy of It already. It is only the greatest novel of Stephen King's life; I quote from it constantly and make reference to the characters as if they were my own friends (at least JAlsup understands me). Sure it is close to 850 pages, but you can do it, I have faith in you, and it is well worth the effort.

Speaking of It, both Jonathan Brandis and John Ritter died suddenly this year- both acted in the film based on the novel. Is there an It curse? Think it couldn't happen? Think again. Remember the cute girl from Poltergeist?

Wow, sorry I am such an extreme dork. I really had no intention of getting off on such a tangent.

I did the unthinkable today- I filled out an application for the Star Theatre. It doesn't sound awful, I suppose, until you realize that in just 10 days I will be 24!!! God, I hate my life. I am glad I went back to school, but, for the reals, I should have tried to get a real job upon my return and taken classes part-time or something, because a) I am sick of being destitute, and b) really, how pathetic does one get? I had sworn off theatres forever after my brief stint at the AMC Abbey 8- no more cleaning popcorn kettles with straight ammonia for me! Or so I thought. I would be lucky, LUCKY, to have such a job now, as apparently someone, most likely my old, vindictive GM from Borders, has been running around town dragging my name through the mud. Yes, it is true, I did leave them high and dry, but only at his own suggestion that I do so. Okay, okay, I am not going to get into this, as I hate that man and never want to think about him ever again if I can help it. Besides I am sure everyone has alreay heard how badly I have been screwed by Borders before, and if you haven't, and are interested, either hit the previous button back to this time last year, or hell, take me out and buy me a beer, and I'll tell you all about it!

Wow, this entry seems unnecessarily angry, doesn't it? I'm really not that angry at all, about anything. Actually, my weekend has been fairly okay, except for my visit to the cemetery today. As you all remember, one of my best friends, Wayne, was killed on this day three years ago. This afternoon I went out to the cemetery to pay my respects, and to my complete lack of surprise, found that a) he still has no grave marker, and b) not even a grave blanket this year. This completely sickens me, and when I get a real job, my first order of business is to get him the former. The reason I never did it before, when I had the money to do it, was because I am close to his family, and know how horrible his death has been for them. I know how crushed I was, I can only imagine their pain. How do I bring such a subject up with his mother? I really can't, and right now I don't have to, but someday I will, because even if they don't visit him there, I do, and it isn't just a matter of convenience, (though I swear sometimes that the whole thing is divine intervention on his part, a way to get me into that chapel, even if it is just so look at their map), but I feel like it is a matter of respect. He deserves to have his name carved in stone, he deserves a monument unlike any other for the way he touched everyone's lives. I wouldn't even know what such a monument should look like, but something should be there to remind the world that he was part of it. That is, for those that didn't know him. For those that did, we will never forget his role in our lives.

I have so many good memories of my times with him. Of course we got into stupid fights, just like any other friends do, but overall, I was nuts about him, and I'd like to think he was just as crazy about the rest of us. One memory, that I can't seem to get out of my head this week, is of the ugliest thing he and I ever did together. One night, while waiting on his mom to get ready so we could all go out to eat, (that's all we ever did, eat and laugh), we were listening to the radio and all of a sudden Mambo #5 came on. Of course it was on the radio every five seconds, and so we were thoroughly disgusted by it, and therefore proceeded to choreograph the ugliest dance imaginable to it, turned up the radio as loud as it would go, and danced in a circle around his living room. I guess you would have had to have been there to get the full effect, but I know I was in hysterics about it the whole night, and I can't help but laugh, and sometimes cry, everytime I hear the song now (thanks Wayne for making that song, of all songs, forever burned in my memory). Many of my memories have to do with us making fun of some stupid song, or dancing. One night, Wayne had a surprise in store for Jenny and I, and as we entered his car, we heard the awful melody of Mandy Moore's Candy coming at an earspilting volume from his speakers. We hated that song so much we loved it, and Wayne had to get the single to torture us. He loved torturing us, or scaring us. One of our favorite past times, when we weren't eating, or dancing to Madonna, or laughing at each other, was scaring the hell out of each other. No one could scream like Wayne. Usually someone screams to scare you and you don't even flinch, but Wayne made me jump everytime. There are so many memories I could write about, things I don't ever want to forget, memories I feel slipping away from me more and more every year. I almost can't remember his scent anymore, he always smelled so good, once he let me borrow a sweater of his, and I didn't want to ever give it back. Shortly after he died, Jenny and I visited his room and smelled his sweaters. Would they still hold his scent today? Luckily, I have JAlsup to remember these things for me, she has a photographic memory, which is great, but it makes me so sad when she tells me about some of the things we did together, things I can barely recall, sometimes not at all. Maybe it is because Alzheimer's runs in my family? Am I showing the symptoms early? I joke, but really, I want so much to not forget all of these memories, it's all I have of him anymore.