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Blah, blah, blah, school, blah, blah, blah, work, blah, blah, blah, hopeless crush

2001-06-17::11:43 p.m.

Hello Baby!

Long time, no see. Yeah, so I am finally updating. It's funny how I wait until the absolute worst time to update my diary, and then I do it. I have a presentation to do in class tomorrow, and being the procrastinator I am, of course I didn't start it until yesterday. The project is for my African-American studies class, and our group decided to focus on religion (huh, my favorite subject). Anyway, I chose to cover African-Americans who practice Judiasm. Wrong choice. I could not find any books on the subject at all. I know there were books written on the subject, but for some reason when I went to the DPL yesterday, they had all mysteriously disappeared. I even tried 3 bookstores near my home- nada. That's what I get for waiting until the absolute last minute I suppose. Anyway, so I was having a nervous breakdown about it yesterday, until I spoke with my personal adviser, Jenny, over a warm bottle of Mike's Hard Lemonade, who suggested that I just simply change my topic. So I did- to Voodooism. It's a pretty interesting religion to study, but since I didn't get to the library today until 4pm, I still have a lot of work ahead of me. So, although my intention was to come online to find more info, here I am updating, and after that boring, rambling bit, I bet you are all glad I am spending my time so wisely. Anyway, so yeah, what's new? Not much to tell the truth, but don't worry, I am famous for my monologues, so I will think up something to fill this space. Let's see, I finally quit my horrible job at Beaumont for good- with no notice I might add. Easily the most irresponsible thing I have ever done. You see, I was offered a job with the research group I work with at Wayne, and so I accepted it and started right away. I had a week off before my next shift at Beaumont, and the night before I found myself sitting in a Ram's Horn at 2am, discussing with Jenny (who else?) over a plate-o-heart-attack how the thought of reporting for my shift at Beaumont in less than five hours made me physically ill. Jenny, the pinnacle of wisdom that she is, suggested that I simply call in and quit. So I did- that night at 4am I left a voicemail stating how I had just spread myself too thin between two jobs and two classes, and I was sorry, but I was never coming back. I know what you are thinking- WHAT A PUSSY! But hey, I have never quit a job on the spot before, and if I would have tried to quit in person, they would have just guilted me into finishing out my two weeks. Oh, guess what! I have really exciting news- Jenny is finally an aunt! Lisa, Jenny's sister, had her baby on June 3. It was a girl, which was a shock to us all, since we had been predicting a boy. They named her Sydney, and she is so adorable. Hmmm, what else- oh, I entered the lottery that W.A.S.T.E. was having for Radiohead tickets, and my named was pulled, so I got four tickets to their show at Molson Park near Toronto. I am just estatic because they are so my favorite band, and the last time we saw them in '97 at the State Theatre, they were so fucking awesome. Thom Yorke is a god. Yeah, so the concert will rock, and the fact that it's in Toronto is cool, 'cause we plan on making a little vacation out of it. Other than that, nothing much else has been going on. I almost forgot, here is a trashy story for you all. Our family had a little scare last week in which we thought both my brother and I had measles, but our blood tests came back negative, so we were just sick with some mystery illness all week. Isn't that ugly? Everything is fine now, but I missed a whole week of work, and I just don't want to deal with it all tomorrow. One other thing that I want to mention, and maybe I shouldn't considering that anyone in the world could read this, but I just need to talk about it to get it out of my head- I have developed a horrible crush on this boy, Adam Kempa, who I have never met, or even talked to, and only know from reading his web site. If you remember, I used to be infatuated with a boy at Beaumont, Eric, and I used to ramble about how perfect he was for me, and how we should be married, etc. Well, Eric can not even hold a candle to this boy Adam. It sounds so pathetic, I know, but I just think he is so witty, and smart, and entertaining, and we like so many of the same bands (I know what you are thinking, hardly a reason to want to marry someone, because you like the same bands, but it really is that important to me). Anyway, I just think he is perfect. Jenny keeps urging me to e-mail him, but I don't know, I wouldn't even know what to say, and if you read this diary, then you know that any e-mail I could possibly craft would just be so stupid and lame that he would just delete it anyway. God, I am such a dork, it's really unbelievable sometimes how retarded I am. And I am so dillusional, to think that there is any possibility that this boy would even want to be my friend, let alone anything more than that. Why can't I get the idea of this boy out of my head? Why don't I realize how sad and pathetic I am, crushing on a boy who I have never seen, never talked to, and who doesn't even know I exist, and even if he did, would not give me a second glance? I am sure that being as awesome as he is, and being in a band, he has tons of girls throwing themselves at him, so what makes me think that I would ever have any chance? Do I really think that some lame e-mail I could craft could compete with all of the cute alterna-girls showing up at his concerts? God, I am just going to shut-up right now and get back to my work because I could go on in my self-depricating ways forever.